Laxminagar diaries #1

“They say it’s what you make,I say it’s up to fate…..” [Demons] was playing in my earphones as i was taking a walk in Lalita Park this evening.
Laxmingar is the hub for CA production is a used-to-be slum area lying just beside the Yamuna river bank. Lalita Park, the laxminagar version of tudikhel is a special place for all of those who are living in here.It is the only serene place in laxminagar.
As i was walking with my hood on and the song playing in my ears, i started reminiscing the memories this place held for me.

Looking at the green lawn, i remembered the moment when i first landed in Delhi. Those were the same lawn where i sat in search of cool shade in the scorching evening of July days. I could recall the memories of casual evening walks, drinking booze in the park,the after class jogs, the after-wasted past midnight jogs (i literally have to come here every time i am wasted), the near fight i had with a desi etcetera.I could remember how unforgiving this place could be , remember the time when i lost the battle with myself and had to return home like a lost warrior.

And also the smell of cannabis, oh wait, it was not from the memory, there were either couples dating or cannabis burning in every park bench i was walking in the pavement.

But most of all i thought of why i was here….

It was neither my wish nor my choice to be here, doing what i am doing, studying what i am studying. Not cliché but I had to be here, maybe it was my fate.
Alike me there are majority of people who are here not because they chose to or they wanted to . In fact I can bet that not even 10 % of people pursuing CA living in Laxminagar came here because of their aspiration.

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To be honest, Laxminagar is shithole of a place to be living in. There’s chanting of a birthday song every midnight in each galli(really annoying unless it is yours)
You can smell the fumes coming out of the potholes every morning.
The noise and density of people living here is intolerable.
The dreadfulness of this place is immeasurable, its really off scale.

There are many cons of this place, i could write a book on it.

But Laxminagar is not only about its cons, it has pros too.
This is a place of hope for lots of people like me. It is not only a place where dreams get crushed but a holy place where dreams come true for many of the aspirants. It is  the place which reminds and teaches us that we are not the slaves of our dreams but the masters of it.It reminds us that we are not soldiers but fighters.

Laxminagar is a minefield.
Struggles and struggling people are of no scarce here.
It is the well that Christian Bale crawled out of in the movie Dark knight rises, and people like me are the Christian Bale ” The Dark Knights”……..

Hope and Reality

May be you are a diamond and i am a looking glass, both shine when the light is cast upon.
Maybe all can stare at you when you shine, maybe you show hope..
Maybe none can stare at mine, maybe i am the flash reflecting the reality that none can hold ……May be you are a diamond and i am a looking glass, both shine when the light is cast upon.Maybe all can stare at you when you shine, maybe you show hope..Maybe none can stare at mine, maybe i am the flash reflecting .jpg

If I Could, I Would Not Give A FUCK To FUCK

I mean seriously if i could, I would not give a fuck even to the fuck itself.
In the daily fucked up lives of us  “THE fucked up beings” and recurring schedules of fuck ups, we get into a constant battle with ourselves whether to give a fuck or not about it, and its a never ending process.

You see, the ultimate key to a better life is not giving a fuck (where not needed).
We have infinite number of fuck to give in our bags, it doesn’t necessarily mean we have to give fucks like people shop on a “BLACK FRIDAY“.
Allocation of the fucks you give on a daily basis is,quite of importance given that you are living in the age of hey-look-my-life-is-cooler-than-yours social media, (or where Trump got elected as US president).

We Feel Bad about feeling bad. We feel guilty about feeling guilty. We feel angry about feeling angry. And we get anxious about feeling anxious. Back-biting-stabbing, Self loathing, Jealousy of your friend owning a harley or iPhone7 or other posh good, Insecurities……
This is exactly where we should not be giving fucks, the absolute no-nos and for allocating your precious fucks.
There are better things in life to give fucks about, aren’t there,isn’t it?

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We end up giving too much fuck in the place where we really need not, to the people who don’t deserve.

We give fucks when our favorite team doesn’t win the trophy, we give too much fuck about reality shows, we give a lot of fuck when the auto-walla or the shopkeeper hesitates to return us change, like that change would make us extra rich, we give a fuck when our colleagues or friends don’t praise us for the contribution that we made.
Allocating our fuck gets real tough and the struggles get real too.

We give too many fucks, when we choose to give a fuck about everything, then we feel as though we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy at all times, that’s when life fucks us.

 

The happiest among the people are the children because they have no fucks to give. They get very less offended, get less jealous, smile back even we utter bullshit. They do not need to give fucks and have less to care about. The people getting high on drugs or marijuana are often happy while they are high coz it makes you feel like a you don’t owe a fuck to anybody, they are carefree..

And in reality we should be more like children and those cults, We don’t owe anyone anything. We don’t owe anyone any apology, empathy, sympathy or any kinds of -thy’s.

We really don’t owe anybody any FUCKS.
Reserving and allocating our FUCKS would rather make us more happy.
Failure would be less terrifying and Rejection less painful.

You only live once, No fucks to give no fucks to take.
Enjoy Life. Enjoy Not Giving Fucks
And Say Cheers to life.

Mistakes and Indecision are parts of life.
Remember to bounce back, like a ball that bounces back stronger the more harder it hits the ground.