Hope and Reality

May be you are a diamond and i am a looking glass, both shine when the light is cast upon.
Maybe all can stare at you when you shine, maybe you show hope..
Maybe none can stare at mine, maybe i am the flash reflecting the reality that none can hold ……May be you are a diamond and i am a looking glass, both shine when the light is cast upon.Maybe all can stare at you when you shine, maybe you show hope..Maybe none can stare at mine, maybe i am the flash reflecting .jpg

If I Could, I Would Not Give A FUCK To FUCK

I mean seriously if i could, I would not give a fuck even to the fuck itself.
In the daily fucked up lives of us  “THE fucked up beings” and recurring schedules of fuck ups, we get into a constant battle with ourselves whether to give a fuck or not about it, and its a never ending process.

You see, the ultimate key to a better life is not giving a fuck (where not needed).
We have infinite number of fuck to give in our bags, it doesn’t necessarily mean we have to give fucks like people shop on a “BLACK FRIDAY“.
Allocation of the fucks you give on a daily basis is,quite of importance given that you are living in the age of hey-look-my-life-is-cooler-than-yours social media, (or where Trump got elected as US president).

We Feel Bad about feeling bad. We feel guilty about feeling guilty. We feel angry about feeling angry. And we get anxious about feeling anxious. Back-biting-stabbing, Self loathing, Jealousy of your friend owning a harley or iPhone7 or other posh good, Insecurities……
This is exactly where we should not be giving fucks, the absolute no-nos and for allocating your precious fucks.
There are better things in life to give fucks about, aren’t there,isn’t it?


We end up giving too much fuck in the place where we really need not, to the people who don’t deserve.

We give fucks when our favorite team doesn’t win the trophy, we give too much fuck about reality shows, we give a lot of fuck when the auto-walla or the shopkeeper hesitates to return us change, like that change would make us extra rich, we give a fuck when our colleagues or friends don’t praise us for the contribution that we made.
Allocating our fuck gets real tough and the struggles get real too.

We give too many fucks, when we choose to give a fuck about everything, then we feel as though we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy at all times, that’s when life fucks us.


The happiest among the people are the children because they have no fucks to give. They get very less offended, get less jealous, smile back even we utter bullshit. They do not need to give fucks and have less to care about. The people getting high on drugs or marijuana are often happy while they are high coz it makes you feel like a you don’t owe a fuck to anybody, they are carefree..

And in reality we should be more like children and those cults, We don’t owe anyone anything. We don’t owe anyone any apology, empathy, sympathy or any kinds of -thy’s.

We really don’t owe anybody any FUCKS.
Reserving and allocating our FUCKS would rather make us more happy.
Failure would be less terrifying and Rejection less painful.

You only live once, No fucks to give no fucks to take.
Enjoy Life. Enjoy Not Giving Fucks
And Say Cheers to life.

Mistakes and Indecision are parts of life.
Remember to bounce back, like a ball that bounces back stronger the more harder it hits the ground.

There was a time when i collected rose petals in rocher's heart-shaped box.
I was lost in love.
Now I am popping bottles & chasing my own shadow in the dark of the night.
It's nowhere to be found.
I am lost within.


Life is a journey. At some point of time, not all but many of us have to leave our home be that for study or for employment purpose.
Shifting into a new country or a new town can be very challenging.

Firstly you get shoved to a tiny flat.
You are likely missing you home, home friends, the food your mum cooked that you detested and to make the matter worse you neither know how to cook nor you can do your own laundry.
You literally become a mess.
The unfamilarity of the new environment also adds up, along with your new identity in getting your mind boggled up.
And after some time there is a weird smell in your room and you’ve become a bit awkward too.
To add insult to the injury, you’ve got new course to study, a deadline to meet, works, projects, a new city to live in and a cook book to cope up with.

While for a lot of us these things can be troubling, for some it is like prison break especially to those who really hate home and family.

But living away from home is not so bad after all.

You can rejoice in your new found identity and independence.
Once you are familiar with the place you can explore more and enjoy.
Meeting new people from around the world adds up spice in your life and excitement can reach a new high.
And most important of all, you become able to make basically every decision for yourself, self dependent and your own boss.

But there’s one thing you have to always keep in mind, “Social media is a lie”. And the pictures in it are misleading, the still frames can be very deceiving.

While you are living a life away from home, you should always keep your spirit high and not get low.
You should lower your expectation and just go with the flow.

And always keep in mind ” Nothing is perfect”.


Who Am I

Back when i was at school and still a little boy, we used to have good Fridays. And the best good Friday would be the one where we got to play the game of Who Am I.

It was an interesting and interactive game, and was pretty much enjoyable.
The teacher would write the character’s name in pieces of paper. We picked up a piece of paper each by the way of lucky draw, the stage was set and we went up there. With our mouth zipped, we would act. Making weird facial expressions and with some hand gestures we would mimic the character. The others who were watching would make guesses in turn as to know Who I Was. Some guesses were nearly correct while the others were misfired horribly, and bull’s eye was a rarity.
It would always take some time to guess the real character. But when somebody finally figured out the character and made the right guess, that moment would be very joyful because 1. You were finally able to convince the crowd of who you really are.
2. You finally could go sit in the bench and watch the other guy mimicking like a joker.
And 3. It was now your turn to guess, which was an easier task.

But gone are those days and gone are those joyous moments.
All that remains are the fragments of memory and all we can do is enjoy in that reminiscence.

Now that I think of it, all we have been doing our entire life is play the game of Who Am I.
We all are in some ways busy judging others or else are being judged at. We may not be conscious enough to admit it but we sure are playing this game for a certain while now.
However we are really horrible at this.

All our life we are taught not to judge the book by its cover, but blame it on human nature we having doing so for as long as we can remember. We fail to dig deep into the content and get entertained by the superficiality. The true self of ours are at bay. We judge and get judged by how we present ourselves to others. We don’t even bother to look in deep, and believe in what our deceitful eyes see.
And we fail to see other’s true self, rather we fail terribly at showing our true self because we have been playing this game of confusing others that we are confused of our own true self. And the superficiality has become a reality of showing our notorious image.

The problem however is not with us playing the game in reality but the fact that we will continue doing so until the end of our days and I can bet on it.
But we have to rise above hate, be true to self and move on.
Don’t wait on the world to figure out your true self, bull’s eye is a rarity. Most will fail to recognize your true identity and in the process you can end up getting yourself hurt.You are not obliged to reveal your true self to each soul you meet.
The arena though already set you should care less for this game of Who Am I, be carefree.
Get going, follow your dreams and never give up.

And just like Eminem said “Don’t let ’em say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get fucked.
Just stay true to you”

“Stay true to yourself and this world will be the best place to be.”


Beyond Blood

“ The truth is everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for”
– Bob Marley

In the daily drama and comedy namely life, having friends around you is like cherry topping.

Friends are the ones not specifically but generally who would put on dancing shoes to be a part of your joy and the arms that will hold you at your weakest.

And as the saying goes “you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends”, friendship is a bond beyond blood.
There is no hard and fast rule on how to make everlasting friendship.
Some are created instantly while some require certain amount of emotional investment, authenticity and risk.
Some are made between polar opposites and some between who gravitate towards each other.
It is not something that you can find by simply searching in google or find its meaningful definition in Wikipedia. It is of much more importance and value.

I believe the entire human existence is dependent upon the relation of friendship. It is because of the people around you who are there to “giggle and sob”, “hear and share”, “play and stay”, “get wasted and busted”, that we exist in this bitter planet.
I also do believe that human are considered superior being because they know how to value the bond of friendship, and also dinosaurs are extinct because they could not.

Not every friendship can however be aspiring or of utilitarian value, but it certainly can be a blissful experience.

Friends really are someone who see value in worthless you.
Likewise there are certain people who do that to me and I am grinding my pen to pay a small tribute by writing about them.
However I am going to use acronym FRIENDS instead of using their name as it is fancier that way.

F & R

F & R have been friends with me for over a decade now, both my school buddies
F is someone whom I have known for as long as I can remember. R, I knew later. They have been my friends from the “chungi” playing days.
My entire belief and definition of friendship started with these two guys. They both have literally been there for me in every dismays and joys of my life.
Lots of things we have done together and made memories.

I can still cherish the memories of the times we mocked each other while climbing the uphill of Bhaktapur Cancer Hospital, pani-puris we had at Durbar Square every Fridays with the gang, teasing our optional math sir during the entire class (this I specifically did with the help of R and we sure were famous in the class for this reason).
I however envied R for he had good handwriting, was competitive with me and got better grades once or twice. I did use this envy to make myself better though.

From the beginning of days till date, they are my buddies and are inseparable part of my life.


I is someone I met in college.
A book worm she is, always surrounded by books and notes. I would get amazed looking at her study all the times, astounding.
She has this cute ta ta ra ma ma Bhaktapurey accent.
I still can remember the day I saw her in the chemistry lab with a purple hairband binding her shiny hair perfectly flowing and a deadly smile of those not so perfectly aligned teeth. Dead gorgeous and jaw dropping, I kept gazing at her from the college ground.

I value this person a lot because she is the one who lend me her books to study at the time when I was torn and hopeless about me and my studies.
She showed me hope.
She became my inspiration and ignited a spark in me to fight back in life. A lot of credit goes to her on helping me stand back on my feet and working my way out of the trouble.


Just like E is the centerpiece in the word FRIENDS, this person has been the centerpiece of my life for nearly half a decade now.
What started as a conversation for correcting a grammatical error turned out to be a beautiful relation between two human.
This person was non existing to me during my entire college days, but as on today I cannot even imagine my days without her presence.
With her down to earth behavior and realistic views on life she has shaped me into a better human.
She has been legs to my chair and the reason to believe in myself. Every highs and lows she’s stayed with me. She has been there for me and I have been there for her, the feeling is very mutual between us. We are very grateful to have each other by our side.
One most important thing that she did was forcedly make me join AIESEC, which later became a quick way out of depression. It was because of this I met lots of other amazing and inspiring people.
She has been a joy in my life.


N & D

N & D have been closest of my friends for some time now. These guys became my nearest and dearest buddies instantly from the day I met them.  Unselfish and ever ready for any new experiences, they have been essential part of me. We have made better memories among us, lots of good memories to look back at. They are my family away from home.
N has been my drinking buddy for long now (we have a huge appetite for booze and are only one call away). He does have a better preference in music, movies and fashion unlike my other friends. Also he can gulp up my annoying behavior.

I probably would be in a deathbed if it weren’t these guys who resurrected me.
I still remember my helpless days when I was sick. Away from home, I was sick, very sick. I would constantly puke and D was there to clean it every time. He would go and buy chilled bottle of water at midnight for pani patti just because my temperature went off scale.
Many nights I troubled these two people. Many nights they had to sleep in the hospital especially D who also had to run every moment to buy medicine, saline and other essentials. I was dead, I could feel myself fading away. But somehow they resurrected me.

They are the brother that i never had.


The kind of relation I have with S is something really interesting and inexplicable, Fire and Ice but still gravitating towards each other.
What started as a non-serious matter of affairs has now turned into an unbreakable bond.
This person has always lent me a pair of ear to listen my lamentation & sorrows and I feel really good talking to her.
She has also been the one to inspire me at times.
Troublesome I have been but she’s been kind enough to forgive me each time.

On the hospital bed, with blurry eyes I could barely recognize who it was but I do remember her wearing a kurta as it was teej that day.
I need not say much about her she knows how special she is to me.
Over the period of time where I’ve made many friends, these seven are the standouts for me, the people who are really special to me. For they have been kind enough to bear me and my annoying nature, I can’t express it in words how grateful and lucky I am to have them around. And i can never thank them enough for the things they have done for me.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S a Bond Beyond Blood.